Breaking up with Facebook {Linkup}

Today I’m breaking¬†up with Facebook. I’ve given up Facebook in the past yet always come back to it like a bad boyfriend.

I’m not knocking Facebook if it’s for you but I have to confess it makes me feel icky. I’m not sure why and I’ll resist over-analyzing it. I’m just getting rid of it.

{A month or so ago, I invited you to a link up here on Thursdays. If you’re wondering what happened, I apologize. I went on vacation, the linky tool expired, and then I began to question whether I wanted to keep the theme.

Inspired by Bob Goff’s bible study Love Does, I had decided on Quitting Thursday where you let go of something each Thursday. Something that is bogging you down and even crowding out time with Jesus. On the first Thursday I gave up control so all the rules for the linkup went out the window.

I invite you to post on whatever is on your mind, heart, or blog. You bless me when you do.}

Image: B2C

Image: B2C

Dear Facebook:

During the course of our rocky relationship I’ve been through many changes. I’ve left you and returned, each time hoping things would be different. They never are.

You can be self-centered and boastful at times.¬†In your eyes, everybody else’s life looks better than mine and that makes me sad!

I’m expected to agree profusely with everything you say. If I disagree I’m expected to remain silent. This is too constricting to me!

You demand too much of my time. I know it’s up to me whether I check in with you but you taunt me 24/7 with reminders in my email that you are there and waiting for me. I hope I’m not cruel when I confess our time together leaves me feeling empty most of the time.

And, Facebook, you’re not Christian. You ban people who stand up for Biblical values and beliefs. You keep changing your rules and you don’t respect people’s privacy.

I’m going to need the Lord’s help on this one as with everything else. Especially since Facebook won’t let you delete your account.

Please share whatever is on your heart today. Even if you love Facebook.


Comments

  1. Are you sure you can’t delete your account? I know for sure you can deactivate it. I think FB is a personal decision — there have been amazing things that have come of it and some very not so amazing things. Praying for you as you go through the break up!

  2. laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

    Thank you, Jen. Yes, I think you can deactivate. I will give that a try. It’s true lots of good things happen on Facebook. I have even done evangelism to the unreached there. I guess it is personal and even a little selfish on my part.

  3. You know, I struggle with FB (I am a Twitter girl). I just find it difficult to interact, and honestly, I don’t like to interact there.

    The one thing I do LOVE about FB is the groups. I’ve been a part of some pretty cool groups. I know Google+ has the ability to do groups too, but I haven’t messed with it much.

    ps I love the idea of quitting Thursday.

  4. laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

    I’m a twitter girl, too, probably because I love words and the challenge of condensing the message. The one thing I’ll miss on Facebook is a Bible study group I am participating in! So I hear you about the groups. I already wrote to the leader to tell her I’ll correspond on Twitter. I’m glad to see your linkup is still going. I think that invites people to stretch out of their comfort zone and amazing things happen there.

  5. I completely agree about Facebook, Laura! It takes up too much time, everyone else’s life looks better… I only use it now to keep tabs on my daughter’s account and for an online Bible study group. I try not to look at anything else. I may do a quick scroll of part of my newsfeed, but I sometimes regret even that :). Thanks for the linkup!

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      So funny, my Bible study group is the one thing I will miss. And if my daughter were on Facebook I would definitely stay!

  6. I love that I am not alone in this!! I have a serious love/hate relationship with Facebook. I did deactivate my account in December for a month and what an eye opener it was to realize how much time I was really spending on it and how I was becoming depressed from looking at it!

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Thanks so much for sharing your blog link. You captured my sentiments perfectly in the first few paragraphs. Glad to hear I’m not alone, too. Facebook definitely needs more “warts and all” updates in the news feed.

  7. I have a hard time deciding whether or not I like FB or social media, to be quite frank here. So much of it is time consuming. And yet, I realize it is such a part of communication nowadays. I do enjoy my Bible Study group & the book launch teams I have been blessed to be a part of. For that I am grateful. So hard to fully weigh in on it all.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Yes, I wonder if I am being responsible by abandoning Facebook. I did enjoy my Bible study group there and I know it is part of our communication system now.

  8. Hi Laura, I hopped over from Heart Filled Friday saw you were having a linky so I’ve joined in to support you.

    Also want to say good for you at taking the Facebook step.
    I mostly use it to keep in touch with our friends all over the world but don’t have a page for my blog as I never fancied that part of it.

    Sometimes I think people will feel “left out” if they are not on Facebook and maybe that even applies to me, something I need to thing seriously about.

    thanks
    Sandra

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Thank you for coming by and linking up, Sandra. So good to have you. There are many things I already miss on Facebook, especially my Bible study. Part of my decision is self-protection. I would come away from Facebook feeling inadequate most of the time.

  9. I’ve popped over from Amy’s #riskrejection (and then linked up — thanks! — will be back too :) — as someone who lived overseas, FB was a great way to stay connected to folks “back home,” but I know it’s not for everyone :)

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Amy, thank you so much for visiting and linking up. I appreciate you! FB has lots of wonderful aspects – we’ll see how I do without it.

  10. It’s so true that facebook is such a time waster and more. I rarely use it and would be off of it completely except for it being the only contact w/ some extended family. I shudder at the intimate things I see shared….the pain, the vengeful spirit, the unwise comments. So many use facebook as a substitute for spending REAL time with REAL people…not just the image portrayed on facebook. Thank you for posting this and for hosting the link up.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Thank you, Joy for taking the time to comment and linkup! Thank you most of all for having the courage to share your thoughts about Facebook.

  11. I found your post via Fellowship Fridays. Your title intrigued me because I struggle with the whole FB thing. It is like a black hole that can suck my brain dry. As a writer, I’m continually bombarded with all the ‘shoulds’ of using social media. I even administer several other pages for people and organizations. I rarely write things on my own wall. I’ve even heard a term coined for that kind of FB user (but can’t remember it off hand). So many of my friends don’t use it. They also don’t even send emails or pick up the phone anymore. It is all turning to texting. I’ve been thinking about writing a post about this as well. I loved your letter to FB. Thanks for putting yourself out there and giving others an opportunity to see we are not alone with our FB struggle.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      I’m glad you came to visit! I hope you do write a post about the topic. I notice people don’t converse on the phone anymore. There seems to be a move away from intimacy in relationships and toward more information based communication. My kids say if the phone rings they assume it’s an emergency because most people text.

  12. Hi Laura ~ I never thought I’d like Facebook, but it is a great ministry tool and I know a lot of unchurched people read my Christian posts. What I find difficult is that more and more those involved in ministry are expected to be on all the forms of media. I have twitter and pinterest accounts, but honestly I don’t really get it and don’t have the time to figure it out. I’m still trying to fix feedburner and it’s so incredibly frustrating when you don’t have a clue what you’re doing!

    We’ll miss you in the Bible study too, but I’ll keep in touch thru email. Have you thought of just going directly to the Bible group page? I took a copy of the url and pasted it and it brought me directly to the page. Might be worth a try.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Yes, this is something I would consider! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Lisa. Being on all social media outlets is too much! Since I gave up FB I’ve noticed how much more time I have and more relaxed I feel. It’s amazing.

  13. Jumping in from Michelle DeRusha’s linkup and I am encouraged by your decision to give up FB. I fight with it all the time, thinking (because others do) that I HAVE to be on FB because I’m a writer, because family is there, because, because, because! But I don’t HAVE to be there. If God isn’t in it, why am I? I hate the language and images some post but I feel I have to be careful if I express my Christian beliefs. You’ve given me a reason to ponder and pray this week about my level of activity there. I do enjoy the groups of writers I have joined and maybe I can strike a balance. Hmmmmm.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts, Sherrey. I have to say I already feel as though I have more time on my hands since my Facebook breakup.

  14. Colleen says:

    Hi, I’m new to this link. I receive emails from another blog which connected to yours. I was on Fb for years and have deactivated from it about 6 months ago. No regrets. I feel more calm and peaceful not having the urgency to check it every morning when I wake up or every 15 minutes throughout the day. I now don’t fret about offending someone through a comment I made and so forth. It was good to chat to friends through, but I have found the true friends keep in contact with you anyway WITHOUT FB. All the best with your decision.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Yes! Not only do I have more time, I feel more relaxed as well. Thank you for bringing clarity with your comment here. Blessings.

  15. Visiting from Amy’s today. I have struggled with Facebook as well. I have thought about “breaking up” but instead have just backed off. I do enjoy keeping in contact with friends and relatives who live far from me. It’s all the other “stuff” that gets in the way and the often “icky” as you put it. I keep feeling that too many are documenting life and not living it…

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      Thanks for visiting and leaving your comment. It’s nice to know I’m not alone…

  16. I am not of FB, mostly because I don’t wan to tell the world I only have 12 friends. Having 459 “friends” isn’t real. Plus the privacy issue… Good luck with giving it up. I clicked over from your comment on A Graceful Girl.

    • laurakimconnell@gmail.com says:

      I’ve found Facebook does not cultivate deep relationships but forms shallow ones. In fact, I think it may prevent relationships because people are replacing real contact with Facebook likes. Thanks so much for visiting. I love what Katie said about Facebook and her post helped my confidence that I had made the right choice. Having 12 friends is an abundance in the real world!

Trackbacks

  1. […] blogger who struggles with a love-hate relationship with the social media network. Maybe we need a support […]

Speak Your Mind

*